Vietnamese terms of endearment

In a couple, the man is usually anh and the woman em. Saying em ơi or anh ơi in a soft voice is already affectionate. Ơi is the calling word, and depending on the tone it means anything from hey, you to darling.

Add yêu and you have the most common Vietnamese term of endearment. Anh yêu means my love (to a man) and em yêu means my love (to a woman). It's sweet without being silly, and it works at any age. For why anh and em carry so much meaning, see our guide to Vietnamese pronouns.

Bé means little one or baby, and bé yêu is baby love. Plenty of men call a girlfriend bé, and plenty of young women call themselves bé when they're being cute: bé đói rồi, baby's hungry. It sounds sweet in private and a bit much in front of friends.

Cưng means darling or sweetheart. It's also a verb meaning to pamper or dote on, and it's most common in the South. Cục cưng, literally little lump of darling, is the extra-sweet version. Parents and grandparents use both for small children too, so they have a warm, coddling feel.

Another cute trick: calling yourself người ta (ngta in texts), literally people, when you're sulking. It's like saying someone is upset when you mean I'm upset.

Young couples often call each other vợ (wife) and chồng (husband) long before any wedding. It's playful, and a little possessive in a sweet way. Online these shrink to vk and ck, often with iu (the cute spelling of yêu): ck iu, vk iu.

Ông xã and bà xã (hubby, wifey) are more common between couples who really are married, and in texts they become ox and bx. For more shorthand like this, see texting abbreviations.

Gen Z has its own words for a partner. These are mostly words you use about someone, to friends or in a caption, rather than to call them. Gấu (bear) is a cuddly partner, as in có gấu chưa? (got someone yet?). Người iu is the cute spelling of người yêu. Nửa kia, the other half, works just like in English.

In messages you'll also see ny, short for người yêu (boyfriend or girlfriend), as in tối nay đi ăn với ny (dinner with my partner tonight). An ex is nyc, người yêu cũ.

Older couples have quieter terms. Mình (literally self) is a traditional way for husband and wife to call each other, as in mình ơi. It puts the two of you on one side, and you'll hear it in old songs and films.

Once there are children, many couples call each other by role: bố nó or ba nó (the kids' dad) and mẹ nó (the kids' mum). And when talking about a spouse to other people, Vietnamese often say nhà tôi or nhà em, literally my house, to mean my husband or my wife.

City couples mix in English freely. Baby, honey, darling and babe all turn up in texts, spelled the English way. You'll also hear công chúa (princess) and bảo bối (treasure, borrowed from Chinese TV dramas), usually half joking. Food and animal nicknames are common too, but they're private jokes, best kept between the two of you.

If you're new to Vietnamese, start with em yêu or anh yêu. They work at any age, in the North and the South, in person and by text, and nobody will find them odd from a foreigner. They also sit naturally next to everything else you say, from em yêu ơi when you walk in the door to yêu em at the end of a call.

Once you know your partner's style, borrow theirs. If she calls herself bé, call her bé. If he texts vk ơi, he'll love a ck ơi back.

In front of family, tone it down. With her parents around, use her name or plain em, and save vợ and chồng for when you really are married: from a boyfriend, at the dinner table, it can sound presumptuous. The app's Dating & slang phrasebook has these pet names with recorded audio, so you can practise saying them before you need them.