easy1000words / Vietnamese guides / Dating and love
How to flirt in Vietnamese
40 Vietnamese flirting phrases with audio, from a first hello to asking someone out, plus how each one lands and what to say back.
- 40 phrases to hear
- 6 min read
- Updated November 1, 2026
- Cho anh làm quen nhé?Can I get to know you?
- Chỗ này có ai ngồi chưa?Is this seat taken?
- Em có hay đến đây không?Do you come here often?
Vietnamese has a word for flirting: thả thính, literally "scattering bait", after the roasted rice powder people sprinkle on the water to attract fish. Most of it is gentle. A compliment, a question about their hometown, a late message asking if they've eaten. Big lines from films tend to sound odd. Warm, slightly shy ones work.
Two small words do half the job: anh and em. Between a man and a woman who like each other, he is usually anh and she is em, and that pairing on its own already sounds a little romantic. The phrases below are written from a man to a woman. If you're a woman talking to a man, swap anh and em. For the full system, see our guide to Vietnamese pronouns.
Every phrase has a play button, so you can hear the tones before you try it out loud. A smile and a soft nhé at the end carry more than perfect grammar.
Open with a friendly question
In Vietnam, most couples meet through friends, work, classes or apps, and walking up to a stranger with a line is less common than in some Western cities. When you do start a conversation, a polite question works better than a compliment about looks.
Cafés are the easiest place. They're busy, seats are tight, and asking about a free chair is normal. From there, hometowns are the perfect topic: almost everyone has a quê (home province) they love talking about.
- Cho anh làm quen nhé?Can I get to know you?The classic opener. Polite and a little old-fashioned, which is part of its charm.
- Chỗ này có ai ngồi chưa?Is this seat taken?Add em at the end to sound warmer.
- Em có hay đến đây không?Do you come here often?Not cheesy in Vietnamese. It's a real question.
- Em tên gì vậy?What's your name?vậy makes it softer. North: Em tên gì thế?
- Em là người ở đâu?Where in Vietnam are you from?Hometowns keep a conversation going for a long time.
- Anh mời em một ly nhé?Can I buy you a drink?mời means you're paying. ly is Southern; North says cốc.
Practise these 6 in the app, free
Tip Short answers and eyes back on the phone mean no. Smile, wish her a nice day and leave it there.
Compliments that land
Vietnamese compliments are direct. Em đẹp quá (you're so beautiful) is normal, not over the top. What lands best is something specific: a smile, an outfit, the fact that she's funny. Compliments on character often go further than looks, because they show you've actually been listening.
Don't expect a simple thank you back. The polite reaction to praise is to wave it away, and when flirting that often comes out as playful teasing.
- Em đẹp quáYou're so beautifulTo a man: Anh đẹp trai quá.
- Em có nụ cười đẹp lắm.You have a lovely smile.
- Mắt em đẹp lắmYou have beautiful eyesSweet, but better once you've talked a while.
- Em mặc đẹp quáYou look great in thatLit. you dress beautifully. Safe and kind.
- Em vui tính quáYou're so funA compliment on character, always welcome.
- Anh đẹp trai thế, chắc nhiều người thích lắm.You're so handsome, lots of girls must like you.What she might say to you, half compliment, half tease.
- Xạo quá!You're just saying that!A laughing reply in the South. North: Điêu thế!
Playful lines and teasing
Thả thính covers everything from a long look to a corny line in a Facebook comment. Young Vietnamese trade cheesy one-liners online as a joke, and everyone knows they're meant to be cheesy. In person, keep it light and a little self-mocking.
If she calls your line sến (cheesy) and laughs, you're doing fine. If she asks whether you're flirting, the honest answer with a grin is usually the best one.
- thả thínhto flirt (lit. to scatter bait)Slang, very common. Also: rải thính.
- Em đang thả thính anh đấy à?Are you flirting with me?Cheeky. Southern: ...đó hả?
- Thôi đi, câu đó sến quá!Stop it, that line is so cheesy!Usually said with a laugh. A good sign.
- Nói chuyện với em vui ghêTalking with you is so funghê: really, so (Southern, casual).
- Anh để ý em lâu rồiI've had my eye on you for a whileFor someone you already know, not a stranger.
Ask for Zalo, not a phone number
Zalo is Vietnam's main messaging app, and asking for someone's Zalo is the normal next step. It feels lighter than asking for a number. Often she'll just open the app and let you scan her QR code. With younger people in the cities, Facebook or Instagram works too.
- Cho anh xin Zalo nhé?Can I have your Zalo?The standard ask. xin makes it polite.
- Mình kết bạn Zalo nha?Shall we add each other on Zalo?Friendlier and more equal. nha is the Southern nhé.
- Anh xin số điện thoại em được không?Can I have your phone number?
Keep it warm by text
A lot of Vietnamese flirting happens by message. Texts are short and frequent, and care counts for more than wit. Asking if she's eaten, wishing her good night, asking her to message when she's home safe: these small attentions are the flirting.
You'll see plenty of shorthand, like k for không and j for gì. Our list of texting abbreviations decodes the common ones.
- Đang làm gì đó?What are you up to?The classic opener. North: Đang làm gì thế?
- Em ăn cơm chưa?Have you eaten yet?Not an invitation. It's a caring hello.
- Ngủ ngon nhéGood night, sleep wellAdd mơ đẹp for sweet dreams.
- Về đến nhà nhắn anh nhéText me when you get home
- hihihehe (a shy, cute laugh)In her reply, a good sign.
Ask them out
Coffee is the classic first date: low pressure, easy to leave, and there's a café on every corner. Dinner or a film comes next. Name a day, because a vague đi chơi không? can sound like hanging out as friends.
If you offer to pick her up, it usually means by motorbike, so bring a spare helmet. Some people prefer to meet you there for a first date, and that's completely normal.
- Đi cà phê với anh nhé?Grab a coffee with me?The easiest first date. She'd say: ...với em nhé?
- Tối nay em rảnh không?Are you free tonight?
- Mình đi ăn tối nhé?Shall we have dinner?mình (we) makes it warm and equal.
- Đi xem phim không em?Want to see a movie?South: Đi coi phim hông em?
- Anh qua đón em nhéI'll come and pick you upOnly if she's happy to be picked up.
Say how you feel
Vietnamese has a clear ladder. Thích is like. Thương and yêu are love. Starting with anh thích em is normal and much lighter than an early I love you. The big moment, when you ask to make it official, is called tỏ tình, and it's still a real event for many couples.
For the top of the ladder, see I love you in Vietnamese.
- Anh thích emI like youShe says: Em thích anh.
- Anh có cảm tình với emI have feelings for youSofter, a little formal.
- Anh muốn gặp emI want to see you
- Làm người yêu anh nhé?Will you be my girlfriend?The classic tỏ tình line.
Read the answer, and take no for an answer
Vietnamese politeness means a no is often soft. Hôm khác nhé (another day) said once is a real maybe. Said every time, it's a no. Để em suy nghĩ đã can go either way, so give it time.
If she mentions a boyfriend, or says let's be friends, smile and drop it. Pushing after a no never changes the answer, and it makes people uncomfortable fast. A clear yes usually looks like a time, a place, or questions back to you.
- Hôm khác nhéAnother day, thenOnce: maybe. Every time: no.
- Để em suy nghĩ đãLet me think about it
- Em có người yêu rồiI already have a boyfriendPolite and final. Thank her and move on.
- Mình làm bạn thôiLet's just be friends
- Oki, tối gặp nhé.OK, see you tonight.A clear yes, by text.
Practise these 5 in the app, free
Tip Most of these, plus phrases for later stages, are in the app's Dating & slang phrasebook, each with a recorded voice.
Questions
Is it okay to flirt with a stranger in Vietnam?
Yes, if you keep it polite and read the room. Cafés, classes, events and apps are normal places to meet. Walking up to someone on the street with a line is less common and can feel pushy. A simple question or Cho anh làm quen nhé? with a smile is fine, and short answers mean it's time to go.
What does thả thính mean?
It means to flirt, literally to scatter bait. Thính is roasted rice powder that people scatter on water to attract fish. It covers any flirty move, from a long look to a cheesy caption. If someone says đừng thả thính nữa, they're telling you, half joking, to stop flirting.
Should a woman say anh or em when flirting?
A woman flirting with a man usually calls him anh and herself em, so just swap the two words in every phrase on this page. If he's clearly younger, she may start as chị and call him em, and many couples later switch to anh and em anyway.
How do you reply when someone flirts with you in Vietnamese?
If you like it, play along: a laugh, hihi in a text, or Xạo quá! (you're just saying that) in the South. If you're not interested, Em có người yêu rồi (I have a boyfriend) or Mình làm bạn thôi (let's just be friends) is polite and clear.