How to order food in Vietnamese

In Vietnam you don't wait for staff to come to you. You call them, and nobody finds it rude. The word depends on the age of the person you're calling: em ơi for someone younger than you (most waiters), anh ơi for an older man, chị ơi for an older woman. At a street stall run by someone your parents' age, cô ơi (to a woman) or chú ơi (to a man) is warmer still.

Raise a hand, catch an eye, call out. In a busy beer hall you may need to call twice. Waving and clicking your fingers come across worse than simply calling. If the pronoun system is new to you, our guide to Vietnamese pronouns explains how people choose.

Restaurants have a thực đơn (menu), though many people simply say 'menu'. Street stalls often have none: the dish is painted on the sign, and the only choices are the size, the topping and whether you want extras. That's when pointing and cái này (this one) do the job.

If you don't recognise something on a neighbour's table, ask. Cooks are usually proud of their food and happy to tell you what it is.

Prices are normally written on the sign or the wall. If they aren't, it's perfectly fine to ask before you order: 'Bao nhiêu tiền một bát?' (how much per bowl?). Nobody will think you're being difficult.

The pattern is simple: cho tôi (give me) + how many + the dish. 'Cho tôi hai bát phở bò' is two bowls of beef phở. At a busy stall most people drop the bowl and just say 'hai phở bò'.

At a one-dish stall the questions come to you. Sit down at a bún chả place in Hanoi and you'll be asked how many portions and whether you want nem (fried spring rolls) on the side. Hold up fingers, nod, and the food arrives.

Two words change by region. A bowl is bát in the North and tô in the South, and a portion is suất in the North and phần in the South. Use either; you'll be understood. Add nhé (North) or nha (South) at the end to sound friendly rather than abrupt.

Vietnamese food is often milder than people expect, because the chilli sits on the table and you add your own. The big exceptions are central dishes like bún bò Huế. If you can't take heat, say 'không cay' when you order, not after the bowl arrives.

For allergies and diets, be specific, and show it written down as well. Fish sauce and shrimp paste turn up in a lot of dishes, so 'I'm vegetarian' alone isn't always enough. Ask whether there's meat or fish in it, or look for a quán chay, a vegetarian restaurant. They're often close to pagodas.

Iced tea (trà đá) costs very little at street stalls, and many places in the South bring a jug of it to the table for free. Coffee has a whole vocabulary of its own, covered in our guide to ordering coffee in Vietnam.

Thêm means more, and it's the word you'll use most once the food arrives: more herbs, more noodles, more beer. One thing that surprises visitors: the packaged wet towel on the table (khăn lạnh), and sometimes the peanuts, are added to the bill if you open them. It's a few thousand dong, not a scam.

Call the server and say tính tiền, literally 'calculate the money'. At a street stall you usually pay as you leave, often straight to the person cooking; in restaurants the bill comes to your table. Tipping isn't expected at local places, though leaving the small change is a kind gesture.

If you're eating with Vietnamese friends, expect a friendly tussle over who pays. Often one person treats and the next meal is on someone else, though splitting it (chia đôi for two people) is common too.

A few habits make a good impression. When you eat with Vietnamese people, invite the others to start before you do, especially the oldest person at the table: 'mời anh', 'mời chị', or 'mời cả nhà' for everyone. Don't stand your chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice; it looks like incense sticks on a funeral altar. When dishes are shared, take a little at a time rather than piling up your bowl.

Drinking is a group activity. You'll hear 'một, hai, ba, dô!' many times in an evening, and it's fine to sip rather than empty your glass every time.